OK tonight I’m little lazy to be smart and educational so this TT will be little fluffy. Namely I’ll write about some of numerous things we have learned from American Movies! To avoid confusion I’m talking about Hollywood Blockbusters!
So here are 13 things we have learned from American movies:
1. Detective can solve the case ONLY if he has been suspended!
2. Every single door can be unlocked with credit card or hair-pin UNLESS we are talking about door which separates us from the crying child in the building in flame!
3. One match is more than enough to light up entire room no matter how huge room is.
4. Eiffel Tower can bee seen from every single window in Paris.
5. It’s totally irrelevant if you are fighting against 20 people in the martial arts. Your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one after another dancing around you with the threatening face until you smash their predecessor.
6. Once you put lipstick it will stay with you permanently, even if you are diving under full diving equipment!
7. If you are German officer you shouldn’t know German at all, it’s more than enough to have German accent! (that applies with French and Russian, etc)
8. When you’re facing with evil international terrorist (who is naturally massive murderer as well) sarcasm and humour are your best weapons!
9. Being naked till the hips is making guy bulletproof.
10. If you have to reload your weapon surely you’ll have enough bullets, even if you haven’t brought them with you previously.
11. If the person has lost its conciseness after severe hit in the head don’t worry, s/he’ll never have brain contusion or some more serious damage!
12. If they are in possessed house during the night, women will explore every single corner in the almost-naked cloth.
13. If you see big glass be sure someone will go thru it very soon.
Oh this is my favourite!
bonus: When they are alone with their compatriots, strangers always prefer to use English rather than their own mother tongue!
Long live Hollywood!!!
Gosh! I love European movies!
May 23, 2007 at 11:42 pm
I could never understand that thing with opening a door with credit cards??? Great list, and I prefer British films myself. Cheers!
May 23, 2007 at 11:45 pm
LOL Sue I’m considering British films in European ones!!!
May 23, 2007 at 11:57 pm
Here’s another one: if a Hollywood movie is set in any country except the U.S., the actors must speak in fake British accents to show that they’re foreign. So instead of people in Italy speaking Italian or even English with an Italian accent, they just speak with fake British accents so everyone understands they’re not American.
May 24, 2007 at 12:11 am
Oh?
Well, I’m always for use of native language (of course when it’s possible) but using fake British accent only to mark their non-americanism? not sure about that…
May 24, 2007 at 12:23 am
It’s craziness! I just saw a really good movie: Babel. The dialogue is in English, Spanish, Arabic and Japanese. Because those are the languages the characters speak.
May 24, 2007 at 12:27 am
Yep I know! I have Babel DVD! Isn’t that just fabulous!!!
But the answer is that Alejandro González Iñárritu is hardly member of Hollywood cream!
May 24, 2007 at 1:39 am
Wonderful post. Very funny. Yes, I always wondered (well, not really) why women ran around in flimsy nightgowns in horror movies, too. Just so you know, so Americans find our movies stupid and banal, too.
May 24, 2007 at 2:06 am
Ahh. #9 explains why Mitchell never wears a shirt — it makes him bulletproof!
LOVE it, Milan! The Eiffel Tower in every window! The accents! You’ve got it SO right!!!!
May 24, 2007 at 2:08 am
All true observations of American cinema. But other countries have their own cliches too when it comes to story telling.
Happy TT.
May 24, 2007 at 2:27 am
hey Hey!
I’m not aiming to offend anyone. As I wrote I’m talking about Hollywood Blockbusters with movie stars (from the pic) and not about other (unfortunately much smaller) part of American cinema with movie actors (who might be stars as well but only after being actors).
May 24, 2007 at 4:00 am
VERY cute
May 24, 2007 at 7:07 am
Thanks for the laugh. It’s always great to get an outside perspective. My husband (who is not American) always complains that when Hollywood does a remake of a foreign film they always ruin it, going for the big commerical hit. I think he may have a point.
May 24, 2007 at 9:00 am
You mean all windows in Paris DON’T face towards the Eiffel Tower? Even the ones pointing away from it? Whodathunk?
Laugh out loud hilarious list. Thanks.
My Thursday Thirteen
~Douglas
-=-
The Splintered Mind – Overcoming Neurological Disabilities With Lots Of Humor And Attitude
May 24, 2007 at 9:44 am
Great list. And so true, especially the one about the use of English
Happy T13
May 24, 2007 at 1:21 pm
Great list! How about this…
That when you speak in a regular volume with someone, the people on the other side of the door, or room even, cannot hear you!
Maybe this is more like Ameican TV
May 24, 2007 at 2:48 pm
Nice list…Hubby would like this
May 24, 2007 at 5:48 pm
Thanks for the giggle, I enjoyed this. I try not to notice those things but they are pointed out to me by my lovely family all the time (they love explosive things, OH, that would have killed him not just knocked him down…)
May 24, 2007 at 6:32 pm
You’ve learned a lot! I could never understand #10 either! I often wondered if the bullets just hovered in space, out of our site, until they needed extras!
Check out my TT on my thoughts today.
May 24, 2007 at 9:18 pm
You know what? You’re so right… Great T13.
May 27, 2007 at 8:21 pm
[...] While Sleeping [...]
May 31, 2007 at 10:07 pm
Hysterical!
P.S. I studied international newsgathering in the Balkans!
June 8, 2007 at 4:56 pm
How funny! I’ve been to Belgrade, Maine but never to Serbia. My mom went to Sarajevo back in the 70’s and she said it was lovely.
June 9, 2007 at 8:40 pm
You know I’m from Maine, right? Knowing Belgrade, it’s not so strange she immediatly asked you out for coffee, meeting a like-minded, intelligent man up there is pretty damn rare.
June 9, 2007 at 8:54 pm
Crimson Wife yep, Sarajevo was beautiful town… and then there were a war and now is a town full of scars
Shanna BLUSH, but are so right… not about Belgrade-Maine (that part I don’t know) but describing me … oh I should add modest too; LOL
Indeed it was really great experience.
just one info:
This blog’s template has an option for comments right bellow the title of the posts and NOT bellow the entire post like in majority of blog.
So the last two comments are actually belonging to the other post TT #14.