13 delusions about life in the army (I’ve spent 2006 there):
1. I thought that going in army is OK; that it’ll be one good experience worth of all trouble. WRONG army is such a waist of time (here is mandatory) and now when I’m thinking about my pre-army thoughts I see how pathetic and desperate they are.
2. I thought that some of Murphy’s Laws will detour me. Oh no, that surely is not possible, not to me 🙂
3. I thought I’ll find some book worm like I am so that we could compare our thoughts about certain writers or books, etc. Oh NO – I was the only freak with book!
4. Oh well, not all people are reading, that’s fine. I’ll find someone who is following news and politics or with (at least) basic knowledge. Oh gosh, how wrong! Guy asked me once looking in newspaper:
5. I always thought that not being homophobic doesn’t mean that you are homosexual. Well not here and can you imagine worse place to find out that than the army???
6. I was convinced I’ll never watch Big Brother but one night about 3.00-4.00 am I caught myself staring 15 minutes in TV watching how they SLEEP!!! When I realized that I turned off TV in fear. Tomorrow I share that horrible fact with one of my army-mates and he asked me did I turn up the volume? I was confused and reply NO. And then he said:
7. I thought you have to know at least something about the word or term you’re using it, especially when you are speaking about serious stuff. One guy was telling us how his older brother has a lung cancer but now is fine after few weeks of therapy and doesn’t have to go to regular checks anymore (I asked him about checks). It was very suspicious so I asked him few times “Lung cancer?” and he replied “Yes” then I asked him:
8. I thought that people know their own mother tongue. Sadly I was wrong again. When I worked on phone central in the hospital people would call and then they couldn’t explain what they want because they couldn’t find the words to express themselves? The same was more/less with my army mates so I don’t know what was in their head when they saw me reading book in English (and later Spanish). I had to read them because of BookRing. One was wondering do I really understand what I’m reading? Other was sweet enough to admit I don’t read book in Serbian!
9. I honestly believed that human stupidity has SOME limits. Oh how endlessly wrong I was! I was in phone central in hospital and it was Monday morning. Our chef came and asked me do I know anything about missing phone from the department for emergency squad? I didn’t know. Then we saw new phone in central where I was working…
10. I thought I’ll start smoking again (I quit smoking 6 years ago) but luckily I was wrong there too :-* Moreover I was that bastard who insisted on prohibition of smoking in work rooms, but I wasn’t faking, it really had horrible effect on me (I don’t think I’d able to start smoking even if I’d like to).
11. I thought you’re free to express your political opinion freely. Well you’re not! Army is highly political institution and it would be best to shut and blink.
12. I thought my pre-army life was interesting only for me. I would never thought that someone unknown knows my moves. Once we had a visit “from the top” and that lieutenant has interviewed one of us (not me). Among questions were the ones referring on the rest of guys… he knew where I’ve been, my unofficial education (not on University) especially related on foreign languages (English, Spanish and Farsi); he knew that I was abroad and for how long etc. Spooky isn’t it?
13. I never thought I’d speak stories from the army LOL
Links to other Thursday Thirteens!
December 28, 2006